Coming Out

Something my therapist encouraged me to do was to tell people about my miscarriage. I am a fairly reserved person so I couldn’t even comprehend this at first, especially when I couldn’t even talk about it without bawling. But the more time goes by, the more I know this is me. It’s part of who I am. So I’ve started telling more people. (It doesn’t help that a lot of people in our town keep asking me about my sister-in-law. It’s so hard, because of timing, to not acknowledge my pregnancy when people want me to talk about hers.) In the last week, I’ve told 4 people. And it’s felt good. People always say how sorry they are and I don’t know exactly what I think about that. I mean what else do you say but also I want people to know I’m not telling them for attention or sympathy. But then again, I need to stop worrying about what other people think. So yes, I’ve been putting it out there and it’s been good. 

I’ve had three really good days in a row and it’s helping me feel hopeful about life. Not necessarily hopeful about becoming a mom. I still think it’ll never happen because I’ve been wanting it for so so so so so long. But I’ll work on it. 

I’m on day 7 of my thyroid medication. Not feeling any difference at all but I know it’s early. Hoping my TSH will be lower when I get my blood work done in 3 weeks. 

Been trying to focus on this lately. 

He will cover you with his feathers and under His wings you will find refuge. – Psalms 91:4


4 thoughts on “Coming Out

  1. Thyroid meds take awhile to work. I think it was a full month before I noticed any significant changes.
    Coming out to people about infertility is rough. I’ve also been trying to be more open about it. It’s like telling people you have a disease. They don’t know what to say or they say something they think is helpful but it’s not.

  2. I had a lot of trouble putting it out there as well. It was like my dark little haunting secret. It made me feel like a failure and a terrible wife. I have finally started talking about it with a few friends and it is amazing to find out just how many people have faced the same struggle. Once I finally began talking about it with others I realized what a great support system I had around me. I hope that coming out with it helps you cope. It never goes away, but it does get easier. Blogging has also helped me as well. I read others blogs and watched vlogs for the longest time. Finally, I decided to share my side of things as well. It works as a great, judgement free outlet.

    Good luck and lots of babydust and positive thoughts!

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